Flaming Ass
I swear this is the last time I will post anything about the flaming ass. For those of you who don’t know who that is, well, he is an ex-boyfriend that really broke my heart and screwed me up for awhile. I do have to admit that I think I am a much better person because of what I learned about who I am and the type of man I want to be with from that relationship.
Well, the flaming ass has been calling me again. It’s been six or seven months now since we broke up and here he comes trying to weasel his way into my life again after he so easily let me walk out of his after a nearly yearlong relationship. Out of the blue one day – well I say out of the blue, but the truth is I had just seen his good friend Jane (my friend too – but definitely closer to him) and of course she talked about how the flaming ass really screwed up and how he had a great girl…yadda, yadda, yadda. So I knew she was going to tell him she saw me. But back to what I was saying – out of the blue one day he calls me and starts telling me how he was in this serious relationship….um, hello? What? Weird. I mean don’t get me wrong, I have dated other men since we broke up, but definitely not a serious relationship…but whatever. Oh, and why are you calling to tell me this? Flaming Ass. So he goes on to say how she broke his heart (wow, it sucks doesn’t it, flaming ass), and he goes on to say how she was cheating on him and how he realized what a wonderful girlfriend I was and person I am. And he went on to say how sorry he was for being an asshole (a little late buddy). But being the nice person that I am, I said thank you for apologizing, and I hope things work out for you and said goodbye. Oh, and he quickly suggested meeting for a drink some time. I said oh maybe and buh bye now. Well for some reason, I guess he saw this as a window of opportunity because he started calling….every weekend…trying to show how cool he is – “oh, I used my black AMEX and got a membership at Candle Room, come meet me”….blah, blah, blah. I don’t care. So, Saturday night he invited me to meet him at Candle Room – “tell Jeremy (he’s working the door) you’re with me.” Gag! I said no. He then called, and I let him have it. I told him he wasn’t a man…certainly not the type of man I want to be with. Look – I’m serious…I want a relationship, I want a companion, someone to enjoy life with. I want a man that makes and encourages me to be a better woman and supports me in my dreams and excites me and gives me butterflies….I want and deserve someone that loves me for exactly who I am….and the flaming ass is not that person plain and simple. I think he was a little caught off guard. I guarantee in his mind he was thinking we were going to get back to together….by wooing me and impressing me with the Candle Room and his black AMEX card….hahaha! Silly flaming ass….that crap does not work on me! Go find yourself a trophy wife golddigger. So he said, I’m going to call you tomorrow and I’m going to make this right…you deserve that. I said whatever; we’ll see about that and hung up. Well, he did call and said that he consulted in his good friend Jane on her thoughts of him pursuing me. And this is where I have to say THANK YOU JANE! She told him no; he cannot pursue me because he has too many personal issues that he needs to work out for himself. She said that he cannot reel me in again and then break my heart again – it’s not fair and I deserve better than that. (Wow! I need to make her some treats!). So that was that, and I told him good luck in finding himself and I thought it was over.
Oh, but wait there’s more. So come to find out, this woman he was so heartbroken over and apparently cheated on him….haha…yeah, that was BS. The truth is that things were going well (and there’s no doubt in my mind that she believed things really were going well, awesome in fact – she’s thinking this guy’s great – house in Highland Park, owns his own business, tall, attractive, nice southern gentleman – that’s exactly what the flaming ass wants to be portrayed as, but unfortunately he’s not prince charming). So, it was her 30th birthday and she wanted to celebrate – who can blame the woman, birthdays are meant to be celebrated! Well, being the flaming ass that he is, surprise, surprise – things didn’t go as planned. She wanted to have her friends over to his house for a b-day celebration. Oh, and I can see it now – he never really committed and never really said no to her – just brushed if off and kept saying yeah, maybe. Well of course she went ahead and planned because he has this way of making it seem like – oh, it’s going to work out. (I can think of at least three times where he did this exact thing to me – completely gave me false hope.) So it’s the day of her birthday and her party, and what does the flaming ass do? Oh probably keeps telling her oh, I’m finishing up a job right now – client emergency - I’ll be there in a little bit – up until it’s the actual time of the party. Her friends maybe even start to show up and she has to turn them away because the flaming ass isn’t there and she can’t get in. I don’t really know. All I do know is that it led to a huge argument – I mean white trash, yelling and screaming, biting (yes, biting), cops showing up to his house and neighbors outside wondering what’s going on. Oh, I know he was probably mortified! His precious reputation! Well, now there are some kind of charges and possible lawsuits going on….who knows.
Part of me thinks – gosh, can you blame the woman for freaking out? I mean he is a flaming ass – there is no better way to describe him. He is a self-centered, egotistical, arrogant, passive aggressive dick. Ugh the list could go on and on. Then the other part of me just laughs that he got involved with some white trash golddigger woman that bit him. He always told me – oh, I want a sophisticated, cultured and classy woman. (I’m still not sure if he told me that because he didn’t think I was those things and wanted to try to make that way or if he was saying I was exactly those things – like I said, he has a way of putting things where you just couldn’t tell if they were a blow to you or not; just left you scratching your head.) All I know is that I would never get so mad that I would actually bite someone and have to have the cops called on me. The fact that he was with someone that clearly is the exact opposite of the classy, sophisticated woman he claims he wants made me realize how screwed up he really is and how much better my life is without him and his drama. Amen.
